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I close my eyes, disconnect my mind still, I cannot forget you.
The sun and the moon left me paralyzed still, I tried to embrace you.
And though we've departed now I still see everything through your eyes.
I hear you pronouncing that you can still, see through all my lies.
If I Could be anything I would be, something that doesn't need to believe,
something that feels instead.
If I Could feel anything I would feel secure and safe on this free spinning sphere,
not randomly forced to live, for death.
I could create but not contain, so I had to cremate you.
To kill off the offspring from out of which, my heart and brain grew,
a cancer that threatened to lead me to my final conclusion,
the theory that everything's leading to, disintegration.
If I Could be anything I would be, freed from this constant questioning,
freed from the constant shame.
If I Could free anything I would free the human race from the pain that they bring, we try to understand then fail, to accept.
If I Could be anything I would be incapable of hypothesizing,
just subjectively, observe with no thought to my relevance or objectivity,
with no regard to mortality.
If I hurt you once it was not enough, to vindicate me for,
leading me further away from where I needed to be but,
if there is one thing I've learned it's there's, nothing harder than hating except,
releasing myself from the hold of what, I had hoped would be.